May 2025, Part One

Chapter 4: Navigating as a Parent

The author with her two children last Mother’s Day weekend. They picked blackberries.

May 2025, Part One:

Below is an excerpt from Chapter 4: Navigating Politics as a Parent. This opening is a personal reflection on how the term parental engagement has and continues to evolve for me. An excerpt is below…I would love to hear your thoughts or feedback in the comments!

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In high school, I played sports all year. Fall was field hockey, winter was basketball, and soccer was spring. I loved all of the sports, but basketball was special because it was a family thing. My brothers played when they were in high school, and more importantly, basketball season was when my father was able to see me play. As a construction worker, business slowed down when it was cold outside, so he could attend. Being able to see him in the stands was the extra boost I needed to do my best on the court. To me, that was the epitome of parental engagement.

As a high school teacher and principal, my definition of parent engagement evolved. One, I recognized that it’s not always about the mother and father, but it’s about grandparents and aunties/uncles and other family members that collectively can support a student. Also, I noted how some families saw high school as a time to step back from being present in their child’s lives, but I consistently stressed with my families that high school is the time to be all-in, not to back away. I valued being able to connect with family members so we could each play an integral role in a child’s education. My priority was always about the student, but being able to bring in a family member for reinforcement was important.

When I became a parent, I had to redefine parental engagement again. I am never going to be the classroom mom, attend middle-of-the-day events, or chaperone field trips. My parental engagement looks like an email, call, or Zoom meeting. I have developed a whole suite of investigative questions to get information about my children’s school day. It’s the car ride home from school where I balance parental engagement and self-advocacy. I often say, “I will give you 48 hours to say something, otherwise, I’m going to say something.”

In the United States, it was when the world experienced two pandemics —the global COVID-19 crisis and the crisis of systemic racism- a forced recalibration of the family-school partnership came about. I and many other parents had a front row view into teachers’ approach to teaching and learning through a computer screen. My son started kindergarten on Zoom, and my daughter spent her first year of high school virtually. It was through those experiences that I became a partner in my child’s educational experience, versus an outside support system.