Issue 16: Care
Noun. The provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something
Four sets of shoes are surrounding white tiles with blue lettering on the sidewalk that spells “BOURBON.” The clockwise description of each set of shoes is -daughter is wearing black high-top Converses, the son is wearing black slip-on Vans, Mom is wearing white Adidas with black strips and Dad is wearing white Nike high-tops.
Check-In:
I have had a “fun” and “family” category of goals for the past 3 years. Both categories are a result of the pandemic. The fun category includes trying new activities, going to new places, and reconnecting with friends that live in other cities. Family is a result of many weekends when as a family we would just go on errands and not do much else. It quickly became a habit that we had to consciously break. Last year we were in a different city every long weekend.
Last week was Spring Break and my family ate and walked our way throughout New Orleans. We will all remember the sights and sounds of the city, especially that little dog that could hold tip money in his mouth and bring it back to his guitar-playing singing owner that entertained us while we were waiting to get our beignets from Cafe de Monde. [A picture of our beignets is below which was worth the wait.]
Now let’s be clear. These vacations are not fully restful. They’re trips. I plan them and the biggest challenge is finding food options where all 4 of us can find something that we like to eat. I’m often tired at the end. However, they provide a connection to my closet community.
This is why, I loved this conversation with Beloved Community founder, Rhonda Broussard who acknowledges the care that women traditionally hold at home which led the organization to take a month's sabbatical every year. So that real rest can happen.
Until I get a month-long sabbatical, I do have one requirement for every trip. Mom gets her hour of exercise every morning.
Daughter: Mom, are you going running in the morning?
Dad/husband: You know the answer to that question.
In my book, competency #3 is to ‘practice self-care.” I talk about self-care being physical, mental, and spiritual. What this looks and sounds like can be different for every person but I believe that you do need to have all 3 components to find some type of balance. In Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto, author Tricia Hersey uses the term ‘collective care’ which I found to be even more powerful. The importance of being in a community in order to truly heal we need to be connected with others. In my interview with Mariane, she shares how her concept of self-care has evolved over the past few years.
How do you practice care physically, mentally, and spiritually?
#mondaymotivation: “There can be no love without justice…abuse and neglect negate love. Care and affirmation, the opposite of abuse and humiliation, are the foundation of love. It is a testimony to the failure of loving practice that abuse is happening in the first place.” -bell hooks
Interview with a Leader of the Global Majority:
Mariane Asad Doyle was the director of equity services and human resources for over two years in a California school district. She’s currently the chief culture officer for the McIntire School of Commerce at the University of Virginia. These comments are the personal reflections of Mariane and her experiences. They do not reflect the opinions of her current or former employer.
Mary: How do you practice self-care?
Mariane: After several years of working in challenging roles supporting equity, inclusion, and belonging at various institutions, self-care means something very different to me now. Slowing down and centering the self is critical and hard work. Quieting the mind is a struggle, especially when this work is surrounded by so much noise, but I find it the most essential element of self-care.
Mariane: Prayer is at the heart of this work for me. Sometimes that means prayer alone and sometimes it means prayer while walking, running, or meditating. Whatever the activity, I know that if there's something tough ahead -- and there always is in this work -- it's time to turn to prayer first.
Mariane: Not long ago, I arrived at some meetings a half hour early and sat in my car, immersing myself in praise and prayer before walking into the meeting. Those moments have been critical to my ability to persevere and persist in doing what I know to be ethically and morally right.
You can read more from Mariane when “Leading Within Systems of Inequity in Education: A Liberation Guide for Leaders of Color” is published NEXT WEEK!!!. Let me know if you would like to be interviewed and/or recommend someone to be profiled in this section.
What I’m Reading: Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey
About the author(s): Tricia Hersey
Book Audience: Anyone looking to slow down
Book Overview:
Rest makes us more human. It brings us back to our human-ness. (p. 27)
I discovered The Nap Ministry on social media a while ago and have been encouraged by Tricia’s perspectives ever since. I read this book while laying down on my sister’s couch. A Saturday when I wasn’t responsible for anyone or expected anywhere and this book was a perfect companion.
I can closely relate to Tricia’s path to rest - the combination of the death of her father and the pressures connected to being in graduate school, gave her an intimate view of the impacts of grind culture and wanted/needed to find a different way of living. She also chronicles her journey in creating The Rest School and Collective Napping experiences.
Rest isn’t a luxury, but an absolute necessity if we’re going to survive and thrive. Rest isn’t an afterthought, but a basic part of being human. Rest is a divine right. Rest is a human right. We come into the world prepared to love, care, and rest. (p.60)
Tricia provides a list of 10 ways to start a rest practice (pp.83-84) and 20 ways to practice rest (pp.85-86). I most appreciated the time spent describing the importance of dreaming. Daydreaming is a form of rest and feels like the opening of your heart doing what it’s supposed to do (p.99). This is a practice that I see my children using often-especially when we are in the car. Being able to dream beyond our capitalist system is something I need to integrate more into my regular practice. I appreciate the techniques to create space to dream Tricia gives (p. 106).
Another theme that resonated throughout the book for me is the role of social media in amplifying and celebrating grind culture. The importance of taking social media breaks is emphasized throughout. I’ve taken breaks the last 2 weeks of every year for the last two years but don’t think that’s enough.
Our resting is not a one-time event because to disrupt grind culture there must be a global mind shift that is relentless, constant, subversive, and intentional (p.63)
Tricia continues to provide ways to prepare for rest (pp. 149-150; pp. 162-163) while emphasizing that it is a practice that is not accepted in our current culture so we need to do some deprogramming in order to truly embrace race.
I found this book concrete and aspirational as well. The fact that she pulls from the works of bell hooks and Audre Lorde made it extra special for me.
Next Book: Black Joy: Stories of Resistance, Resilience, and Restoration by Lewis-Giggetts. You can find a full list of my book recommendations here. Please note that I am an affiliate with Bookshop.org and receive a small compensation for your purchase when you use the book links provided.
Resources:
Indigenous leaders want land acknowledgments to really benefit their communities: NPR
In this KAPPAN article, Louie F. Rodriguez shares how understanding the strengths of Latinx students can improve their educational outcomes.
"Nearly every tumultuous movement in American politics has coincided with a call to ban books.” In this Atlantic article, author Xochitl Gonzalez. chronicles how librarians are doing right now.
Reminder:
If you’ve been waiting to pre-order my book- it’s now 25% off using code “RB25ASCD” if you purchase it through ASCD. It is also available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or Bookshop.
Publishing day has been UPDATED. It’s now Monday, March 27th. I’m so thankful to have this book out into the world for you all to read. Can’t wait to hear what you all think!
If this is your first time reading, please go back and read my Introductions post.
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. If you like it, please share it with your network!