Issue 29: Darkness

Noun. The total or near total absence of light

A photo of a streetlamp that is slightly lighting the paved road below. A few bare tree branches around the lamp are visible. Everything else is completely dark. Photo by Lasse Møller on Unsplash

Check-In:

The feeling of darkness comes before I actually start seeing it.

Then the shadowed morning walk to school. A slight cool wind. The end-of-year countdowns. Sunset before dinner is ready. The feeling gets heavier when the realization that another holiday season will occur without fathers and grandparents.

My daughter says it’s seasonal depression….

• Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed.

• Having problems with sleep.

• Feeling sluggish or agitated.

• Having difficulty concentrating.

….She may be right.

I’m thankful that my 40s helped me recognize the impact of the seasons on my mood. My dear friend Annie helped me find a way out. She would bring me back a scarf every time she visited family. They were always red or orange and the perfect protector from the cold Northeast air. Then I had to get a coat to match. A bright orange coat amongst the Black NYC uniform. It did something for me. Maybe it was the consistent compliments but it’s hard to feel blue when you’re wearing orange.

My winter reds, oranges, and greens have been slowly taking over my closet. This is a small thing I do to combat the darkness. It is one part of my toolkit that also includes journaling, physical activity, rest, connecting with loved ones, and many other deliberate activities that happen once or repeatedly. Some days I succeed. Some days I just wear the Black.

It’s easy to become so busy these last few months of the year with holidays, family gatherings, end-of-semester testing, and grading that we mislabel our feelings as just fatigue. I remember when I was a principal, I got sick every winter break. I fought and ignored every signal my body and mind were giving me until it literally shut down on me. It’s unfortunate that I didn’t realize this pattern until years later. I was too busy caring for others, I ignored addressing the darkness that was hanging over me.

So I’m entering this latest season of darkness with my bright colors and eyes wide open to find the light within the darkness. How are you entering this season?

#mondaymotivation: "I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

Interview with a Leader of the Global Majority:

Helen* is the Director of Strategic Partnerships for a small-sized district in Florida. She has been in the role for over three years. The comments below are Helen’s and do not reflect the opinions of her school system.

Mary: Do you feel like you've had to change your approach to your work, and what has that changed since 2020 and the passing of anti-CRT laws and the Don’t Say Gay law in Florida? What impact has that had on you?

Helen: So, some of the things that we did is we had to redefine how we talk about supporting students and families. We had some people that came in that tied social-emotional learning to all kinds of things, so we had to change the language and call it emotional learning or social learning; we couldn't put it all together.

Helen: I had to get an agreement about what equity is. I had to explain to a group of resisters, "So let me ask you this question: let's say you had a child that had some exceptionalities, and they needed additional support. Would you prefer that we not support your child, and that they had to do the same thing, and were required to live up to the same expectations of children who did not have the same exceptionalities?" And they would say, "Well, no, we would expect you to do what you need to do to support them so that they can learn, and be in school, and blah, blah, blah," and I said, "Well, we call that equity. That means giving children and families what they need when they need it to be successful" and that everyone in the room agreed was okay.

Helen: Then I could talk about the difference between equity and equality. I could talk about the streetlight effect, looking past what we see, and looking for what we're seeing happening in education, in our communities, and in our country.

Helen: Also, I started using the term belonging and had conversations about things like belonging and dignity.

Helen: So those are some things in my work that I've done, and I've been very successful, and we've been able to move forward.

*name changed

Let me know if you would like to be interviewed and/or recommend someone to be profiled in this section.

What I’m Reading, Watching, and Listening To:

I’ve combined the “What I’m Reading” section with the “Resources” section and created the “What I’m Reading, Watching, and Listening to” section:

• READING: This article gives seven best practices that will help companies embrace religious diversity as part of their DEI strategy. Harvard Business Review

• WATCHING: American University hosted this webinar where experts, including authors Kiese Laymon and Dr. Tanji Reed-Marshall, weighed in on the history of banned books, what is happening politically today, and the potential impact on students in the future. They took audience questions at the end, and resources are linked from the webpage.

• MORE WATCHING: After listening to the first few episodes of Grapevine it was nice to hear about this outpouring of community support for LGBTQ+ students at a public school board meeting in Illinois District 300. The district has reversed its decision to cancel a student production of “The Prom.” Public comment begins at minute 33 on this recording and highlights the love and support for LGBTQ+ students that all communities should experience.

• LISTENING TO: Author and poet Clint Smith on the On Being podcast with Krista Tippett. I loved his reflections from his time as an English teacher.

You can find a full list of my book recommendations here. Please note that I am an affiliate with Bookshop.org and receive a small compensation for your purchase when you use the book links provided.

Upcoming Events:

• November 6th-8th: Presenting at the Courageous Conversations Conference (Austin, TX)

• November 16th-18th: Presenting at the National Association of Multicultural Educators conference (Montgomery, AL)  

• November 29th: Pre-conference workshop at National Association of Independent Schools’ Staff of Color Conference (St. Louis, MO)   

• November 30th-December 2^nd: Presenting at National Association of Black School Educators (New Orleans, LA)  

How to Continue to Support Leading-Within:

• Go to Amazon and rate or review the book there! Reviews are a great way for others to see that this book is worth the time to read.

• Post about the book on social media using the hashtag #leadingwithin. Even better if it includes a picture of you WITH the book!

• Host a book club with your affinity/ERG group. Two study guides are also available on the ASCD website - one for leaders of color and one for white co-conspirators that are perfect for starting a group conversation. For book clubs with participants who have purchased and committed to reading the book, please reach out to me so I can support your journey!

• Connect with me to speak to your organization or group about topics covered in the book, like ‘practicing love and rage’, ‘building a coalition’, and ‘taking a stand’.

If this is your first time reading, please go back and read my Introductions post.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. If you like it, please share it with your network!