Issue 33: Disappointments
Noun. Sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.
A series of 3 pictures of the author celebrating her first birthday. In all pictures she’s wearing a red dress with green, yellow, and black plaid print with a pink-frosted cake in front of her.
Check-In:
It’s Capricorn season! I am a proud Capricorn baby (January 9th!!!) but it’s a sign that doesn’t get a lot of hype. It’s probably due to the generalizations about Capricorns. We are often characterized as “sticklers for discipline…ambitious, love goal-setting, and having a daily structure. Often known to be a “workaholic”, a Capricorn is a perfectionist, hardworking, and organized.” Solid qualities but not particularly exciting…
In true Capricorn style, I spent my last days of 2023 in deep reflection about my year and planning for 2024. For the past several years I have set goals in 7 categories and review them on the first of every month: 1. Read 2. Write 3. Health 4. Family 5. Fun 6. Finance 7. Career. I have a word of the year and a moonshot goal. This all is inspired by Chris Guillebeau’s annual review and goal-setting structure.
To make this year’s reflections more nuanced, I took some questions from Alex Elle’s Rise and Write Club and the Five Lists from The Isolation Journals with Suleika Jaouad to think back on my 2023 and plan for 2024.
I have already taken the time to embrace success and abundance so for this review I specifically focused on my disappointments and what I need to learn from them to bring into 2024.
I had many personal and professional disappointments in 2023: not hitting my second quarter book sales goal, not being selected for a TED Talk program for educators, not losing the 10 pounds that I found in 2022, not hitting my marathon time goal, and on and on. I also was disappointed by mothers who want to ban books. And with Texas politicians who dismantled DEI offices in colleges and universities. And with national politicians who won’t support a ceasefire. Some of these misses I could let go of but others hit me hard…like made me cry, and shook my confidence and belief in my abilities and faith in humanity hard.
I know. I know. “It wasn’t my time” and “Better things are in store for me” and “This is just another time in history where there’s backlash to the progress of minoritized people” but pessimism comes more naturally to me than optimism. It’s hard to see and grab onto the hope but I’m trying to be better as I age! So I spent a day sitting in all my disappointments, anxieties, and worries to find and take hold of what is possible.
Today, January 1, 2024, I have updated goals within the same 7 categories, have a new word of the year (rhythm), the same moonshot goal (give a TED Talk), and a deeper understanding of my disappointments and how to use them to keep going.
How are you using your 2023 disappointments to create a stronger, more just, and liberated 2024?
#mondaymotivation:
I want you to remember
that mistakes are opportunities
to know that if you can make it
to the end of the song
you’ve got something real
something to build
a world with.
-from “Transitions” by Kwame Alexander
Interview with a Leader of the Global Majority:
Maurice was the chief equity officer for a large school system in Illinois. He was in the role for over three years. The comments below are Maurice’s and do not reflect the opinions of his school system.
Mary: What's your way to take care of yourself and keep moving?
Maurice: Number one, I see a therapist. You have to be able to give it to someone or situate yourself in a way to process it so that you can learn from it. There's certain things that used to bother me. Once I figured out why it used to bother me, it doesn't bother me anymore. I just totally get past it.
Maurice: Two, I have my true affinity spaces. My friends circle.
Maurice: I have friends who are in the system, who are not in the system. I have friends that I can have really candid conversations with about my leadership experiences, and about what I'm trying to do.
Let me know if you would like to be interviewed and/or recommend someone to be profiled in this section.
2023 Reading In Review:
I read 52 books this year. Down from 76 books in 2022.
50 out of 52 books were written by writers of color. My usual percentage.
Categories of books were my usual mix of fiction, memoir/narrative non-fiction, YA, and my made-up category of education/history/racial justice mesh.
Favorites in each category:
Education/History/Racial Justice: How the Word is Passed by Clint Smith
Fiction: The Love Songs of W.E.B. DuBois by Honoree Fanonne Jeffers
Memoir/Narrative Non-Fiction: How to Say Babylon by Safiya Sinclair
Young Adult (YA): Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo
What I’m Reading, Watching, and Listening To:
READING: I read a lot during my winter break to reach my goal (52 books) for 2023. Punished for Dreaming by Bettina Love, Good Talk by Mira Jacob, and Why Fathers Cry at Night: A Memoir in Love Poems, Letters, Recipes, and Remembrances by Kwame Alexander were some of the books that pushed me to the finish line.
WATCHING: The Color Purple OF COURSE! An amazing update to this classic.
LISTENING TO: My final audiobook of 2023 was When Crack Was King: A People's History of a Misunderstood Era by Donovan X. Ramsey. WoW! If anyone doesn’t believe in systemic racism and how education is one of those systems- this is one to read. And if you grew up during the 80s and early 90s this is especially eye-opening!!! I learned A LOT.
You can find a full list of my book recommendations here. Please note that I am an affiliate with Bookshop.org and receive a small compensation for your purchase when you use the book links provided.
Upcoming Events:
Leading-Within Wednesdays will return NEXT WEEK! I’m tackling one competency a month and continuing to build my video-making skills. I’m looking forward to continuing to dive into these 10 competencies for leaders of the global majority.
I will be in conversation with my friend and mentor Dr. John R. Jenkins on Tuesday, January 30th at 4 pm EST. John has been with me since my FIRST day as a principal, knows ALL of my leadership stories and it is always a good time when we are in the room together! You can register here: https://bit.ly/47WqDg5. If you are an EdLoC Member- Be among the first 50 to register and attend for a free copy of #leadingwithin
How to Continue to Support Leading-Within:
Go to Amazon and rate or review the book there! Reviews are a great way for others to see that this book is worth the time to read.
Post about the book on social media using the hashtag #leadingwithin. Even better if it includes a picture of you WITH the book!
Host a book club with your affinity/ERG group. Two study guides are also available on the ASCD website - one for leaders of color and one for white co-conspirators that are perfect for starting a group conversation. For book clubs with participants who have purchased and committed to reading the book, please reach out to me so I can support your journey!
Connect with me to speak to your organization or group about topics covered in the book, like ‘practicing love and rage’, ‘building a coalition’, and ‘taking a stand’.
If this is your first time reading, please go back and read my Introductions post.
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. If you like it, please share it with your network!