Issue 55: Body

Noun. The physical structure of a person including the bones, flesh, and organs.

Photo Description: A picture of the author feeling good in her body. She’s wearing a red dress with a dramatic flying train in front of a church in Santorini, Greece. Please Note: A photo shoot with a perfect background is a great way to feel good about your body.

Check-In:

The fight with my body started very young. From kindergarten, I was known as the ‘fat kid’. I found a love for sports in high school and became the ‘fat athlete’. I also found calorie counting in high school. Sitting around my friend’s kitchen table, counting out the exact number of pretzels allocated for the serving size never daring to go over. The obsession with calorie counting and the scale continued for many years. I have been a size 8. I have been a size 24.

My mother’s love language is food. She fed me and fed me well. Reading Skin & Bones by Renee Watson reminded me that my family never criticized nor critiqued my weight. It was my safe place but the magazines, TV, and classmates punctured the cocoon that my family created around me.

I am constantly aware of what body-conscious tendencies I’m imposing on my children. Trying to create a thicker cocoon for them but also helping them be ready for when the messages creep inside.

When I look in the mirror every morning sometimes I still see the chubby kid that was made fun of in school but other days, I see the strong woman who has delivered babies, ran marathons, and is strong as f**k.

As leaders, we cannot control everything that children say to each other. Although we can control how we respond. What we can control as leaders, is our connection to our own bodies. One of the competencies I outline in my book is “Practice Self-Care.” I break down the practice into:

• Physically-Are you treating your body as if it’s the only one you have?

• Mentally- Are you tightly connected to the thoughts and feelings running through your mind?

• Spiritually-Are you feeding your soul?

I remember when I was a principal, I used to get sick right before every break. It was like my body had been holding on as long as possible and then finally broke when it knew it was going to be properly taken care of. These days I wake up and pay attention to what is stiff, sore, and what cracks. After a stretch, I determine what level of exercise I will do that morning. I’m no longer wed to my speed workout, heavy lifting, and long-run set days. My body tells me what it needs and finally, I’m fully listening. It has taken me nearly 49 years to feel good in my body.

As we continue into this new year there is a lot of uncertainty and our bodies will hold it all. Our bodies will feel it all. We need to give our bodies what it needs- nourishment, strength, rest, a stretch…Pay attention.

How will you listen to what your body is telling you?

#mondaymotivation: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” - Audre Lorde

Leading-Within Vision for 2025:

I have adjusted my posting schedule for 2025. You can read about it here. Yearly subscriptions are 20% off for the month of January.

Interview with a Leader of the Global Majority:

Dr. Kendra Washington-Bass is a National Facilitator at The Leadership Academy. She formally worked at Gwinnett Public Schools for 14 years. These comments are the personal reflections of Kendra and her experiences, they do not reflect the opinions of her employer. Her first interview excerpt can be found in Issue 40: Basketball.

Mary: Can you share some of your strategies for practicing self-care?

Kendra: Absolutely. One of my core values is community—whether that’s with my family or work family. So, my self-care starts with setting boundaries. After 5 p.m., I shut down work. I also keep my workspace separate—I don’t bring my laptop into other areas of my home. That way, I can create a clear line between work and personal life​.

Mary: That’s a great strategy. How else do you prioritize your well-being?

Kendra: My husband and I make time to connect, whether that’s eating dinner together or going out once a week. Dinner is always at 6 p.m., and we sit at the table to eat as a family. For me, self-care isn’t just about getting my nails or hair done—it’s deeper than that. It’s about nourishing myself through meaningful connections with my family​.

Mary: It seems like family plays a big role in your self-care.

Kendra: It does. We have a family Zoom call every Tuesday and Saturday night at 8 p.m. We’ve been doing this since 2020, and it’s still going strong. It’s a way to check in with everyone, especially relatives who live alone. We laugh, pray, and even uncover family secrets. It’s such an important part of staying connected and feeding my soul​.

Mary: That sounds amazing! What advice would you give to others looking to incorporate self-care into their lives?

Kendra: First, set clear boundaries. Protect your time and energy. Second, build a supportive community. For me, I created Sister Saturday—a monthly gathering where women come together to support each other, share tools, and just exhale without judgment. Lastly, listen to yourself and what you need to feel nourished. Self-care is personal, so find what fills your bucket​.

Please let me know if you would like to be interviewed and/or if you would recommend someone to be profiled in this section. I need new interviews!

What I’m Reading, Watching, and Listening To:

• READING: I just finished Skin & Bones by Renee Watson. I know Watson as a YA author, but this beautiful adult novel written in short vignettes chronicles one year of a 40-year-old big, Black woman navigating fatphobia, love, friendship, parenthood, and many other things in Portland. It’s lyrical, and moving while also giving an education into the history of Black people in Oregon. You can find a full list of my book recommendations here. Please note that I am an affiliate with Bookshop.org and receive a small compensation for your purchase when you use the book links provided.

• LISTENING TO: Leadership expert Simon Sinek was recently on What Now with Trevor Noah. He provided some historical facts about capitalism and the US stock market that I didn’t know while answering questions about the challenges of leadership.

• WATCHING: The Six Triple Eight is based on a true story about the only U.S. Black Women's Army Corps stationed overseas during World War II. They join the war effort to address a three-year mail backlog.

How to Continue to Support Leading-Within:

• Go to Amazon and rate or review the book there! Reviews are a great way for others to see that this book is worth the time to read.

• Post about the book on social media using the hashtag #leadingwithin. Even better if it includes a picture of you WITH the book!

• Host a book club with your affinity/ERG group. Two study guides are also available on the ASCD website - one for leaders of color and one for white co-conspirators that are perfect for starting a group conversation. For book clubs with participants who have purchased and committed to reading the book, please reach out to me so I can support your journey!

• Connect with me to speak to your organization or group about topics covered in the book, like ‘practicing love and rage’, ‘building a coalition’, and ‘taking a stand’.

If this is your first time reading, please go back and read my Introductions post.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. If you like it, please share it with your network!