Issue Nine: Home
Noun: the place in which one's domestic affections are centered. Adjective: of, relating to, or connected with one's home or country: Adverb: deep; to the heart
Image from the movie Wizard of Oz. It shows Dorothy wearing red shoes with blue socks. A wand with a star at the end is by her feet.
Check-In:
My new favorite icebreaker/community breaker to start a meeting is, What do you consider to be your ‘hometown’? What is its culture like and how has it shaped who you are?
It may be due to the time of the year. The assumption is that holidays mean returning “home” or maybe because I have been in NYC multiple times in the past few months. To me the question about home is complicated. I call myself a New Yorker who was born in Wisconsin and lives in Texas. I moved to NYC in 1994 and Harlem in 1999. Harlem today is not the Harlem I left in 2016 but it is still the neighborhood that feels like home to me. It may be that when I think of marriage, children, new jobs as well as family deaths, blackouts, and 9/11…they’re all connected to Harlem. Also, the art, music, movement, food, and community shaped who I am today. But I also feel at home in the corner of my couch in the living room. The place where I am writing these words. I feel at home in my office surrounded by my favorite books but that feeling disapates once I leave these four walls.
I just finished South to America by Imani Perry (A MUST READ!!). Her deep dives into so many Southern cities show how home has been used for power and privilege. And how the home has been a place of pride and refuge. Home defines people.
In my interview with Gilmara, she looks for a type of home in her conversations with other people. In Belonging Through a Culture of Dignity: The Keys to Successful Equity Implementation authors Floyd Cobb and John Krownapple set a blueprint for helping educators collectively build homes with their students.
Be it a place, a feeling or connection, Dorothy was right, there’s no place like home. What’s home for you?
#mondaymotivation: “we will tell you about the warmth and charm more easily, but you cannot understand what a remarkable grace they [home] are without the other part, murderous home, sweet home, old home, weak home.” -Imani Perry
Interview with a Leader of the Global Majority:
Gilmara Villanova Mitchell worked at Heartland AEA Education Agency for 16 years and was assigned to the Des Moines Public Schools as their equity coordinator for six years.
Mary: How do you engage folks in conversation, even though they may have different views?
Gilmara: I have learned a couple of things that help. The first thing is to show up with humility. I always say to people, I don't know everything, and I want to keep learning, and I recognize I am a work in progress. I think when you start there, the other person displays humidity too. It's not a power struggle.
Gilmara: The other thing is I always express my intention from the get-go and explicitly. Because a lot of times our intentions are very similar, but our approaches are very different. So, using our intention as a bridge helps you connect with the person and decide on the best approach.
Gilmara: And then the other thing is I try to ask questions when I'm disagreeing. So, if I am in a meeting and somebody says something that rubs me the wrong way, or that sounds inappropriate or not inclusive, instead of making a judgment and telling them, this was racist. I'll say, “what you said stopped me in my tracks and caused me to stop and reflect. Can you clarify that for me?”
Gilmara: So, before I judge, I try to ask the question. Because sometimes it's a misunderstanding. Sometimes it's not. And once they explain, I might say, I still don't get it. Like, what does that mean for you? But I continue the conversation by asking questions, so the person has a chance to show up and add their two cents. It's not only me constructing meaning alone based on my own blind spots and my own experiences.
Gilmara: And so, I think that these three things helped me a lot. Showing up with humility at the beginning as this is not a power struggle to see who is smarter, explicitly expressing my intention, and showing up curious and asking a lot of questions before I arrive at a conclusion.
Mary: And how has that approach gone for you?
Gilmara: I must tell you in almost 20 years, I have never had one of these conversations go badly. Never.
Gilmara: I have had several difficult conversations and my measurement is I need to leave this room closer to this person than I entered. If we respect each other and we were one step closer than we were when we entered the room. To me, that's a success.
Gilmara: I have learned to see those vulnerable raw conversations as a gift.
You can hear more Gilmara when “Leading Within Systems of Inequity in Education: A Liberation Guide for Leaders of Color” is published in April 2023. Let me know if you would like to be interviewed and/or recommend someone to be profiled in this section.
What I’m Reading: Belonging Through a Culture of Dignity: The Keys to Successful Equity Implementation by Floyd Cobb and John Krownapple.
About the author(s): Cobb and Krownapple are educators who currently consult with teachers and districts supporting them achieve educational equity.
Book Audience: For any educator who is interested in achieving educational equity in their school or system.
Book Overview:
Cobb and Krownapple first present a dysfunctional cycle of equity work to make the case that we need to be doing something differently to get different results. The steps in this cycle will feel familiar as we have all been part of an initiative created as a reaction to an event but have seen it fail when it gets too hard or comfort wins. They then go on to introduce a different framework. Their “Dignity Framework for Educational Equity” puts dignity at the center. The framework contains four elements: core competencies for dignity; indicators for belonging; standards for dignity; dignity distorters. The core competencies are empathy, patience, openness, and listening. The 4 standards for dignity- build partnerships and community; repair harm and restore relationships; affirm differences and uniqueness; presume competence and positive intent.
I appreciate the final chapter of the book because it takes the time to unpack the standards and give tools for how to access ‘belonging’ while preparing for the pushback that comes with doing things differently.
However, it was the unpacking of the core competencies in chapter 7 that I enjoyed the most. You look at a word like ‘empathy’ and it seems simple. Basic. But when you realize that means you must get rid of ‘apathy’ and that it’s not just empathy for others but also for yourself, oh and you also have to be conscious of empathy fatigue…a simple behavior just got a lot harder. Cobb and Knownapple break down each competency in this matter. Patience is critical, especially when working within a system that thrives on urgency. You can’t be open if you’re unable to embrace feedback. The final competency is listening. A skill I have been deliberating practicing this year. I’ve been particularly focused on reflecting on what I hear. The authors offer another strategy that I will also be practicing- listening for word choices that represent unexamined beliefs.
Overall, the text can be a helpful reflection exercise for your current intiatives and/or if you’re feeling stuck in your current approach and not seeing the outcomes you’re looking for. Copp and Knownapple can help you find a new pathway forward.
Next Book: DEI Deconstructed: Your No-Nonsense Guide to Doing the Work and Doing It Right by Lily Zheng. You can find a full list of my book recommendations here.
Resources:
· Lily Zheng the author of DEI Deconstructed: Your No-Nonsense Guide to Doing the Work and Doing It Right writes in the HBR article, “The Failure of the DEI-Industrial Complex” four actions for organizations and DEI practitioners to take that will lead to real change: 1) Identify DEI challenges before prescribing DEI solutions, 2) find the right specialist(s), 3) measure not only inputs, but outcomes, and 4) have those doing the work inform the budget for it.
· In the article, “The Problem With Tables” author Aida Mariam Davis asks us to reconsider the quest to get a ‘seat at the table’ but instead to redefine the table.
If this is your first time reading, please go back and read my Introductions post.
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think. If you like it, please share it with your network!